Refresh the Family!

As the family have grown up we have seen routines come and go as jobs changed, after school clubs came and went and commitments altered. What did become apparent however was that as the children grew so did the number of commitments and the time we were able to spend together as a family became less and less as my husband took the boys to go-carting whilst I went in the other direction with my daughter to her music lesson. Tea times became a snatched pre-cooked meal from the freezer so that we could get out to the next group or club in time. What we were seeing was a demise in our quality time together. I was suffering burn out and the children weren't enjoying the constant journeys from place to place to ferry each of them to the next club. At the point of crisis I decided that things would have to change.We all needed time to unwind. I was at work during the week then trying to cram in emergency shopping on Saturdays, followed by Church and often children's birthday parties on Sundays. Before we knew it it was Monday again and we didn't feel we'd had a rest. Change happened gradually. The first thing I noticed was how much we enjoyed a roast dinner in the winter when the afternoons were dark and the weather inhospitable.It was the one meal we all enjoyed, no making three different things for a change ,and my husband seemed happy to peel the vegetables whilst watching a rugby match on the television so we introduced the weekly roast and it continued into the summer months, albeit at a later time. We began to review our commitments at the beginning of each new term in order to decide which we wanted to contunue and which we needed a break from. The rule was, no more than one club a night, and if you weren't enjoying it you could give it up no questions asked, at the end of term but you had to follow it through until then. The new regime worked well. We began to see which clubs the children really wanted to do. For my son the priority was drums and Explorer scouts, and for my daughter she gave up guides and started scouts instead and we looked for a dance class when her gymnastics came to a natural conclusion at the end of primary school.There were obviously occasional days when there was a clash because of a one off event but as I couldn't be in two places at once the children learned that if they couldn't arrange a lift with a friend they couldn't go. The change in our well-being was amazing. As friends tied themselves in knots flying from one place to the next, I breathed a sigh of relief that I'd stepped off the treadmill.I set aside Sunday as being the best day in our house for doing nothing. It needn't have been Sunday, any day would have done, but as my husband was now working 9-5 then it fitted round both work and school. Having the freedom to wake up in the morning and decide whether we wanted to go out or just chill in the garden was fantastic. It meant that we sometimes had to say 'no' to invitations when we felt tired or stressed but we discovered that conversely often the most special things happened spontaneously .If the children were invited to the beach with friends or to play soccer on the astro turf they can go but if they preferred to lie in bed until late reading- it's was their choice, no pressure! The side effects were unexpected too! We ate better quality meals as I had time to bake if I wanted,cook in bulk and plan ahead.The garden started to get some attention and we had more fresh air and exercise because we weren't constantly driving from place to place. I also had time to help with homework if needed or look things up because we weren't going anywhere. The benefits have been immense to us all so stop rushing, start resting and I'm sure like me you'll reap the benefits!